✌ ic contact;

[dies_at_the_end]

☎ voicemail ☎ text message ☞ action ☣ whatevs

Comments

Call

[bratwurstcalling]

John. Pick up your phone.

Call

[dies_at_the_end]

I FUCKING TOLD YOU, ERNIE, STOP CALLING ME!

[Hi Dave. You can't expect anything different.]

[bratwurstcalling]

Damnit-- this is important!

[dies_at_the_end]

Oh hey Dave. I thought you were this guy-- well, never mind, it's not important. What's up?

[bratwurstcalling]

[You're so full of shit John but he really can't be bothered by that right now.]

I died.

[dies_at_the_end]

[There's a long moment of silence while he tries to sober up figure that one out.]

You're dead right now?

1/?

[bratwurstcalling]

[bratwurstcalling]

done.

[bratwurstcalling]

No I don't think so.

.

[dies_at_the_end]

Okay, then you're okay. You shoulda called while you were dead, I would have stolen your body if you needed.

[Unlike SOME people.]

What happened?

[bratwurstcalling]

It was only a few minutes and then I woke up in this thing.

...I think I'm going to be sick.

[dies_at_the_end]

What thing? Where the fuck are you?

Don't puke, if you puke I'll start puking and then we're gonna be in trouble.

[bratwurstcalling]

By the fisheries--- shit.

[Definitely puking.]

[dies_at_the_end]

[John doesn't actually sympathy puke, but he holds the phone away from his head a while and shouts the next bit.]

Do you need me to come find you?

[because, okay, he won't lift a finger for most people but if Dave's in serious trouble, that's different.]

[bratwurstcalling]

[Don't mind the coughing. The puke tasted like shitty beer and gunpowder.]

Don't come down here--- he'll shoot you too.

[dies_at_the_end]

Someone shot you? What the fuck is going on, why are you out getting shot?

[Dont go have all the fun without him you douchebag.]

Sounds like some asses need kicking. On my fuckin' way.

[bratwurstcalling]

Bad. Idea.

[dies_at_the_end]

Like that ever stops me.

[bratwurstcalling]

On second thought, John, this is the best idea you've ever had.

[dies_at_the_end]

Nah, I'd probably go with that concert opening. Or the bomb thing. But it's up there.

[HE'S COMING. Get used to it, Dave.]

Try not to die again before I get there, ok?

[bratwurstcalling]

When you get shot just remember I told you so.

[dies_at_the_end]

As long as you don't shoot me.

[bratwurstcalling]

I'm over that phase.

[dies_at_the_end]

That's one thing we got going for us.

[bratwurstcalling]

Yeah.... I'll be by the thing that looks like an escape pod.